Shape My Heart

Nothing is permanent in life. Life is just a temporary.. Why? Because life wanna teach us to be thankful, grateful and appreciate what we have now. Yup. We cannot blame anyone. Its about our life. But, life involve people around us. Surely we understand that no one cant rely on theirselves alone. No matter how hard we try. But we can accept that everyb0dy can be an independent person. It doesn't mean that we can stand on our own feet alone. In my opinion, it's mean that we are not depending on others authority or disturbing others..

Like loving a person too. Love last  forever (true love). But it doesn't mean u can own your lover. No matter how much we love someone it is not just like our love towards him. It is hard to have understanding in love.

Am i not strong enough? Nope. I am a strong girl to accept that u cant be mine. You know what,  that is the toughest thing i must and need to do. The one that i really love but cannot be mine forever. For others i didnt bother.

I am the type of person who can accept things readily. InsyAllah. With no interference. You dont need to remind me about the future. You dont love me cause u willing to say that to me and you know i dont like it anyway.

I never say bad things or want bad things to happen or unnecessary things happen between this relationship. Cause i know we dont have much time. I only know that i love u. Nothing else. Too much love for you until im kinda weak. Love is not good for weaker i guess.

Yah. Every lover will get invovled with so many troubles. I dont bother about those craps things. What i want now is you. Just you. I've never compared about our marriage fate to you. You're the one who talk and compare about it. I realize and truly realize la about the future. I know that you cant be mine forever. But u should not said that to me. Never!

Why? Cause it is such a waste knowing and loving you for these years. Why u do this to me? I never said that to you. Why do u keep on hurting me this way? What do u want? Are u really avoiding me? Do you really mean it that i couldnt understand you?

If you are nothing to him, you wont be anything to him. No matter what you do. He will always imagine you are nothing to him. It is the most terrible thing to accept. But pleaseeeeee, dont keep on repeating about that.

Is it you never remember what we did together from the first time we met and enjoyed together? Live our life together until you willing to say that to me? Sometimes i feel that all those moment are useless.

I told you that you cannot change anything if the time is not right. I just wanna be with you right now, this moment. Just that. I thought u will understand that. But you said it is interrupting you. Then how?

What am i supposed to do? I cannot avoiding u in my mind or reality. Hmm. Now, maybe i will keep some distance with you. I know who i am. Its all limited right? Im just a girl besides you only. Not more than that. 

I really cant imagine to love someone else after this. I will find my old-ownself and be that girl again. A happy girl and tears never appear. The weird part is, even my family never once make me cry a lot.

You are just a wonderful piece of dream only. A dream that i've dream off. You absolutely have no idea how much i love you. You are lucky cause you are not married with me. Like u've said. Hmm. But im not.....maybe im the only one that dreamed it to be happen. Dont worry. It is only just a dream. Dream that cant be real. All fake! Fake Fake!! Just remember that ILYSM.

P/S: wonderful story hah? ;) thanks to the Book of Stories